Fashion tips for the fashion-challenged

Fashion tips for the fashion-challenged

I asked my Facebook friends for topics they’d like me to write about. Cherie, bless her heart, suggested I write about fashion trends for women in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s. Can I be frank? I know as much about fashion as I do about how to change the transmission oil in my car. In other words; zip, zilch, nada, nothing. However, I’ve learned a few things over the years that I can share with you, and I hope you find them useful.

This is how I dressed in my pre-awakening days:


Let me explain. Before I “awakened” to my femininity and the joy of womanhood, comfort was a priority. I had many children (for those of you new to the blog, I have ten kids; they’re amazing). I wore men’s jeans because of all the wonderful pockets, and I stuffed them full of everything I needed: keys, wallet, lip gloss, loose change, coupons…you get the picture. With a baby in one arm, a toddler in the other, and a preschooler hanging on your leg, who wants to carry a purse?

I wore men’s T-shirts. They’re really useful. They’re big enough to hide all the rolls of accumulated…er…adipose tissue; they’re comfortable, and they’re large enough to hide a nursing baby underneath in public. People just thought I was really busty. They didn’t know that under my shirt there was an infant attached. How I wished women’s clothing offered such utility!

If I wanted to look sexy, I wore something like this:



Again; comfortable, practical, and the tank-top and shorts showed off my muscular arms (from carrying small children and a 40-pound diaper bag everywhere) and my legs (when I remembered to shave) (if I forgot to shave, people just thought I was wearing wool leggings under my shorts).

Fast-forward a couple decades. I’m now married to a man who wants me to wear women’s clothing. Imagine that. Humph! He told me after we were married a few weeks, “You know, honey, guy’s pants really aren’t that flattering on you. You’ve got a nice figure; why not wear something that shows it off? And the by the way, you should carry a purse” (Grumble, mumble. Why doesn’t he carry a purse?). So, my husband went out and bought me a new wardrobe.

Now I wear things like this for comfort:



And I wear things like this for sexy:



Pre-awakening, instead of my daughters and I borrowing each others clothes, my sons and I swapped shoes. Sounds weird. But now, post-awakening, instead of wearing men’s athletic shoes, I have a variety of women’s shoes; about a dozen pair, excluding winter boots. My husband calls me Imelda Marcos. (snot).



And look at my freaking bra collection! Oh. My. Gosh.




Since discovering Victoria’s Secret, life just couldn’t get any more exciting! I’m happy. “The Girls” are happy. My husband is happy. All this happiness is almost enough to make the whole house burst at the frame.

This is me, then and now:




Here is what I’ve learned about womanhood, wifehood, motherhood, and fashion over the past 10 years:

1.   Put off frumpy and put on fabulous. I don’t care if your figure is round, square, pear, bear, goose, or moose; just cut loose (ha) and maximize your femininity. Seriously though, I really do feel better about myself when I look like a woman than when I look like one of the guys.

2.   Ditch the perm. Or if you’ve always had straight, fine hair, consider getting a loose perm for body. I went from kinky (hair, ladies. Kinky hair)  to natural, and added some soft highlights.

3. Tweeze or wax your eyebrows. Give them some shape. If you have a uni-brow, considering dividing it. Two is better than one, right?

4.    Consider putting on a little makeup. A little blush, eye shadow, and lip gloss goes a long way in bringing out your natural beauty. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that just because you’re married you no longer need to make an effort to look nice. It doesn’t matter how many kids you have. Five minutes in front of the mirror will do wonders.

5.    Dressing up a bit now and then can be fun! Remember when you were little and loved to play house? I remember putting on my mother’s high heels, hat, feather boa, and gloves. Sigh. Those were the days.

And finally, I have to confess, after 50 years I bought my first purse. Now I have two of them. I never thought I’d say this, but it would be hard to go without one!


So, my friends, embrace your feminine side! Live a little! Buy yourself a cute outfit!

And Cherie, aren’t you glad you asked me to write about fashion?

Sweet Kiss


  1. You crack me up. So this is not even remotely what I was thinking but I will say, “Well done.”

    For the record I feel like a gluten with my shoes–I have over a dozen pairs of sandals alone, and I won’t even talk about owning an entire shelf of purses to match!!!!! Yet I will say I don’t own tennis shoes other than nursing shoes.

    You got me with bra’s–mine are more like slings to pull things back into place. NOTHING sexy about them at all and I won’t talk about granny panties!!!!

    I do agree a few minutes to primp makes us feel better. When we feel better about ourselves, our body language is open, and people feel drawn to us.

    In the end, the way we need to take care of ourselves and embrace the way God made us. We are all uniquely made in His image and He delights over us!!!

    Thanks Tracy!!!

    1. Author


      You’re way too funny with your remark about your bras being like slings. Back in my barefoot-and-pregnant days the only bras I wore were ugly, stretched-out, dingy white ones tattered by time. Maybe I was subconsciously trying to keep my husband at bay? (Didn’t work…ten kids…). I’ve noticed, however, since wearing “pretty” undergarments, even though no one else sees them besides me (and my husband) it makes me feel better. Strange. I appreciate your observation that we ought to take care of ourselves and accept how God made us. Compared to cars, we might resemble an “old clunker” instead of a “sports car,” but under the hood we are made in God’s image and He loves us with an everlasting love. Thanks for the reminder, Cherie!

  2. I loved your post!! You must keep writing, you are inspiring! The thing I would add , is that if I dressed up before I was married, (ie make- up,etc.) I sure want to keep it up after. I want to keep “him”happy, and keep all eyes at home, if you get my drift.
    Great job!!

    1. Author


      I agree with you! As women, we often dress to impress when we’re single, and then after the “I-do’s” we tend to become complacent about our appearance. I’ve learned a lot in my second marriage and am making a real effort to take care of myself and to please my spouse. I’m very blessed and thankful to have a husband who doesn’t let his eyes drift; his eyes are only for me. Thanks for posting and thank you for your kindness and encouragement!

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